IMPOSTER















The Imposter

 

Smiling.

Laughing.

She has a joke for every occasion and people love her.

 

The caregiver.

The reliable one.

Dependability is her middle name- count on her to do as expected.

 

She is strong enough to handle anything that comes her way. Her resolve will not be shaken.

 

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“You inspire me.”

“I admire you.”

These are the words she repeatedly hears.

 

To the world around her, she is an absolute force.

 

BUT THEY SEE WHAT SHE WANTS THEM TO SEE.

 

Inadequacy.

Fear of failure.

Anxiety.

These are the things that keep her mind running for hours on end as she tries to settle into bed.

 

Stifling sobs into her pillow, she cries herself to sleep, afraid to show anyone her weaknesses. For this she hates herself.

 

She knows she isn’t real.

Keeping up the façade is exhausting.

 

If only someone would call her bluff and see her for who she truly is…

 

an imposter- a fraud.

 

Maybe then she could finally let go and become the woman she dreams of becoming.

 

She could be HERSELF.



I've been working on this writing for a few weeks. It came to me here a little and there a little as I was either walking or when I'd wake in the middle of the night. 

There's a whoooole lot for me to think about in it. 

But mostly, I just want to be more me. I need to let go of this person that wants to hide from the feelings that need to be expressed. I need to let go of the person that thinks she needs to solve the problems of the world and everyone in it. I have to let people see me and my emotions. I want people to know ME. Not just the me that I want them to know. I guess I gotta figure that out.

THAT IS GOING TO BE TOUGH!

Bear with me. 

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